# What Christian conflicts should look like

[Conflicts](people-conflicts.md) are absolutely inevitable for Christians ([Matthew 10:34-36](https://biblehub.com/bsb/matthew/10.htm)).

- Most [denominations across Christian history](history-church.md) were formed through some type of disagreement.
- Many Christians higher on the Agreeableness [personality](personality.md) dimension (especially [leaders](mgmt-church.md)) have trouble with this fact.
- This won't change until [Jesus comes back](jesus-returns.md) and [sets up His Kingdom](https://theologos.site/millennium/), though it *still* won't be completely gone until the Final Judgment in [Revelation 21](https://biblehub.com/bsb/revelation/21.htm).

However, we *must* engage any disagreements in love ([1 Corinthians 13:1-3](https://biblehub.com/bsb/1_corinthians/13.htm)).

- Many people who claim Christianity do *not* follow Christ, but can gain [influence](power-influence.md) by associating with it.
- Most cults have been indoctrinated to believe Christians have perverted the truth, are following false doctrines, are in severe error, or the [Church's leadership](mgmt-church.md) is exploitative in nature.
- To [lovingly](https://theologos.site/devotion-chaos/) accepting them while rejecting their beliefs is the first step to *any* healthy dialogue.

Everyone is [entitled to their beliefs](people-boundaries.md) and [traditions](habits.md) (or lack thereof).

- Some people can believe a contradiction that defies naturally healthy conflict-management strategies:
  - They'll hate you, with "loving" you being through condemning behavior to show you the truth.
  - They won't realize they're being rude, or imagine the rudeness is perfectly justified.
  - Typically, they won't see living graciously or peaceably as important ([1 Timothy 2:1-4](https://biblehub.com/bsb/1_timothy/2.htm)).
- Even while they may be trying desperately to [influence you](power-influence.md) or force you to react, do *not* lose your temper.
- The battle is [*much* larger than just your interaction](spiritual-warfare.md), and you can show Christ [even if they persecute you](hardship-persecution-church.md).

Working through disagreements, heresies, and cults is a *very* intense form of [personal evangelism](evangelism.md) and [leadership](mgmt-church.md).

- To be a peacemaker, you will need *tremendous* patience in understanding everyone's points of view ([Matthew 5:9](https://biblehub.com/matthew/5-9.htm)).
- It takes a *tremendously* open mind to respect each person's [culture](people-culture.md) as uniquely different while maintaining your views.
  - A Bible verse can be descriptive (with a precise application) or prescriptive (should be adapted to the [culture](people-culture.md)).
- Only pursue a ministry in [resolving disputes](people-5_conflicts.md) if God has [specifically equipped you](spiritual-gifts.md) for the purpose.

In general, prioritize your [conflict management](people-5_conflicts.md) skills correctly:

1. As much as it depends on you, be at peace with everyone ([Romans 12:18](https://biblehub.com/romans/12-18.htm)).
   - This may mean dropping disagreements that get too heated or don't have much earthly significance.
   - It also means [staying legally safe](legal-safety.md), but exercising restraint in delivering [legal action](legal-doctrines.md).
2. If it's a [legitimate sin](morality-sins.md) with another Christian, confront them about it ([Matthew 18:15-17](https://biblehub.com/bsb/matthew/18.htm), [Deuteronomy 19:15-21](https://biblehub.com/bsb/deuteronomy/19.htm)).
   - If that doesn't work, bring 1-2 others with you to validate what they're saying with evidence.
   - Take it to the church at large if that doesn't clear up the issue.
   - Finally, if nothing changes, exile them outright from your group.
   - Do *not* take issues with other Christians in front of a secular group ([1 Corinthians 6:1-8](https://biblehub.com/bsb/1_corinthians/6.htm)).
3. Lastly, if a so-called Christian is openly practicing outright lawlessness, don't even associate with them ([2 Timothy 3:1-5](https://biblehub.com/bsb/2_timothy/3.htm)).
   - Some people have a *lot* of experience with following God, but have no hope of salvation ([Hebrews 6:4-6](https://biblehub.com/bsb/hebrews/6.htm)).
   - Most controversies with this level of opposition with others fail to recognize that we receive [eternal salvation in Christ](jesus-gospel.md) when we die ([2 Timothy 4:7-8](https://biblehub.com/bsb/2_timothy/4.htm)).

Most of the more durable heresies and bad theology comes through a few major routes:

1. Old supernatural fiction like Milton's [Paradise Lost](https://www.fulltextarchive.com/book/8612/) and [Paradise Regained](https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/58) or Dante's [Divine Comedy](https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/8800).
2. Catholic figures of speech and phrases that borrowed from local [superstition](stories-myths.md).
3. Protestant worship songs, especially 19th-century hymns.
4. Spiritual themes in American pop culture, especially films.

## Debating

The only worthwhile debates are the ones that affect how to rightly [understand](understanding.md) the truth and [walk with God](spiritual-exercises.md) ([Titus 3:9](https://biblehub.com/titus/3-9.htm)).

- [The devil works overtime](spiritual-warfare-tricks.md) to deter and discourage [healthy disagreements](people-5_conflicts.md).
- Healthy Christian disagreements are loving, patient discussions over [philosophies](philosophy.md) and [ideas](values.md).

Do *not* back down from clear-cut language Christianity uses (e.g., don't accept that Jesus was "a God" instead of "God").

- The [devil himself](spiritual-warfare.md) leads many cults, so expect a *massive* fight over seemingly minor matters ([2 Corinthians 11:13-15](https://biblehub.com/bsb/2_corinthians/11.htm)).

Frequently, the best thing for [your thought life](spiritual-exercises.md) is to back out of the conflict and reflect or [read your Bible](bible-study.md) more thoroughly.

- You can still coexist with them, and do *not* have to conform your ideals to them, but must [agree to disagree](people-5_conflicts.md).
- Unfortunately, you only have a few options if they won't relent on an issue:
  1. Out of love for them, avoid the subject or practice entirely, which is safest for everyone.
  2. Hide your beliefs or practice from them if possible, which can be a *severe* issue if they find out (especially if you [lied](people-lying.md)).
  3. Find a new community, or create distance from them.

## Incompatible

*All* attempts to reconcile Christianity and the world are guaranteed to fail.

- Declaring that Jesus is God, or at the very least has more authority than anything else, by logical necessity, indicates that every other belief system is subordinate to Him.

Any attempts to harmonize Christianity will lead to disaster.

- God will draw people under His domain from every [culture of humanity](people-culture.md) (Revelation 7:9).
- There are simply too many cultures and ways of life to sufficiently harmonize all of them.

[Living like Christ](https://theologos.site/devotion-chaos/) is a much more individual experience, and binding together everyone with the same [agenda](purpose.md) starts veering quickly into the realm of [political influence](power-influence.md).