# What "the good life" is

Without at least some good things in it, life has no [value](values-quality.md). Some of those good things may be [happiness](mind-feelings-happiness.md), a meaningful [legacy](legacy.md), a worthy [purpose](purpose.md), outlandish [success](success-1_why.md), or simply the joy of [surviving](hardship-disaster-1_short.md), but [meaning](meaning.md) always requires experiencing at least some realization of an [ideal](values.md).

Without a derived [purpose](purpose.md), a creature may be alive, but thriving as a [human](humanity.md) includes things beyond mere survival.

In a broad sense, "the good life" comes when we experience consistent [meaning](meaning.md). While we can find meaning on a moment-by-moment basis, the good life is a *lifestyle* of meaning.

APPLICATION: A well-lived life is more significant than being well-received by others or possessing many things. In fact, it's also lower-maintenance: both [reputation](image.md) and possessions require much more work to maintain than a wealth of experiences.

The good life is a model we [build in our minds](imagination.md), then strive for above other things. All aspects of [right conduct](morality.md), [role modeling](maturity.md), and [leadership](groups-large.md) require a well-calibrated good life. The people who attained that way of life before us are worthy of our [honor](image.md), and are the strongest source of [wisdom](understanding.md) we can ever possess in this life.

The good things that encompass the good life are the basis for all our [morality](morality.md).

Most of the [conflicts](people-conflicts.md) come from [limits we impose](power.md) on others regarding those things we see lacking, as well as [our responses to those limits](morality-justice.md).

One *very* heated philosophical debate worth considering is whether the good life consists in maximizing pleasure or minimizing pain. All [decisions are a calculus](people-decisions.md), and many good decisions do *both*, but how we prioritize them determines how we reconcile most [inner conflicts](conflicts-inner.md).

## Reinforcement

Living well requires *constant* [change](people-changes.md) and pushing against the [resistance](meaning.md) we experience around us. This requires a type of "comfort" in unpleasant things that serve us well in the long term.

We must associate with others who share our values, whether it's in finding [friendship](people-friends.md) or associating with (and sometimes [leading](groups-small.md)) [groups](groups-member.md). This should express as a [love](people-love.md) for oneself and others, not merely for the sake of gaining [power](power.md).

We must also be authentic with what we say and do. Honesty with ourselves is critical to keeping ourselves connected closely to [reality](reality.md), and is critical to simplifying reality to permit our [intuitions](mind-feelings.md) to develop a strong [understanding](understanding.md) of what we [learn](education.md).

## Humor

[Humor](humor.md) is a necessity for the good life, since it alleviates pain.

There is no room for fanaticism in the good life, since it doesn't permit humor.

However, the good life *may* have room for obsession or extremism, depending on someone's [personality](personality.md) and the context. However, it should still account for the time and place of a person's [appropriate behavior](people-rules.md) and [moral considerations](morality.md).

## Growth

Over the course of a lifetime, a good life will have a progressive upward [cycle](trends.md) that merges a person's [identity](identity.md) with their [actions](results.md). This requires associating closely to what we do with ourselves and others, but shifting with limits to avoid [addictions](addiction.md) as diminishing return takes hold.

APPLICATION: Use the Five-Minute Favor Rule: *always* help someone if you can fulfill their need within 5 minutes.

The [quality](values-quality.md) of a person could probably be most clearly [measured](math.md) by how much they change to conform to their [understanding](understanding.md) of the good life. This could be expanded to include how much they improve their understanding when [reality](reality.md) demonstrates its [results](results.md) to their [decisions](people-decisions.md).

APPLICATION: To discern the [quality](values-quality.md) of what a person really is, don't look at where they are, but instead look at where they've come from, how far they've come, and how they respond to their situation.

The good life has a broader application than merely attaining comfort. Our [decisions](people-decisions.md) are only responses to our environment, so an environment filled with extremes will most likely yield the best possible life:

- Understanding the beauty of peace can only come after experiencing [war](people-conflicts-war.md).
- Living under injustice teaches us more wholly about [justice](morality-justice.md).
- Wealth can only be appreciated the most by someone who has been poor.
- Joy only gives its fullness through experiencing sorrow.

APPLICATION: At certain times, every person must be the following:

1. An artist who [creates](mind-creativity.md) something.
2. A warrior who [fights](people-conflicts.md) something.
3. A philosopher who seeks to [understand](understanding.md) something.
4. A laborer who [builds](creations.md) something.

Often, if we've changed from one thing to another, it's difficult for us to change back if we discover the original was better. We'll typically feel we've wasted our life with the second thing and feel tremendous [shame](image.md) from it. However, it was a necessary [journey](maturity.md) because we *needed* to [fail](results.md) with the second thing to [understand](understanding.md) the benefits of the first. But, many people simply [reprogram](understanding.md) their [beliefs](understanding-certainty.md) to accommodate their [shame](image.md).

The good life, therefore, is constantly changing between prosperity and [hardship](hardship.md) to give us context for the [stories](stories.md) we build from our environment.

Of course, those stories should probably have happy endings. Unfortunately, [death](hardship-death.md) takes us all, and we don't know what happens after that, so complete closure [for us](religion.md) or [for those who survive us](legacy.md) is very limited without [myths](stories-myths.md) of the world beyond this one that we're willing to bet our lives on.

## How

We *could* live a good life without extremes, but our lives are short enough that we won't experience life fast enough to attain it without having a proper [upbringing](people-family.md) and [training](education.md) in it. Thus, to gain the greatest [understanding](understanding.md) of the right way to live, we must overshoot it in every possible direction that it may arrive.

The entire idea of "moderation in all things" is a bit oversimplified since we must define "moderate", but it represents a few combined concepts:

1. All [actions](results.md) and [ideas](values.md) have their time and place.
2. We can't live with [addictions](addiction.md) or excess.
3. There's never a universal solution to our wide variety of [purposes](purpose.md).

We need a bit more than merely "moderation":

1. Routinely, we should stop mid-action and consider our purposes for our [routines and habits](habits.md). Otherwise, we'll be stuck doing things that don't conform to our [purposes](purpose.md). [Philosophers](philosophy.md) *constantly* ask seemingly inane questions to this end, but anyone can do it by just [slowing down](awareness.md).
2. We must be free of [past trauma](hardship-ptsd.md) guiding our [purposes](purpose.md). The past only exists in our minds, so external forces won't affect how we [feel](mind-feelings.md) about the past *nearly* as much as [dysregulation](awareness-dysregulation.md) and a lack of [introspection](awareness.md).
3. We must stay optimistic about the [future](imagination.md), or we'll submit to our [fears](mind-feelings-fear.md). But, [reality](reality.md) is often terrifying. The easiest way to do this is by finding [gratitude](mind-feelings-happiness-stress.md) over all things through observation, including life itself, but can also come through lowering [expectations](imagination.md). Most people require [religious habits](religion.md) to attain that optimism.
4. Finally, we must avoid pettiness whenever we can. We're all born petty because our limited experience makes us feel everything as a severe encounter.

APPLICATION: There's not much value in following a cynical person, but we can learn plenty about what *is* good by what that cynic was still [optimistic](trust.md) or [certain](understanding-certainty.md) about.

[Most people shouldn't be philosophers](philosophy.md), but we must avoid letting our [feelings](mind-feelings.md) and [focus](purpose.md) swing from one [trend](trends.md) to the next. Otherwise, we'll subject ourselves to [needless conflicts](people-conflicts.md) and [distorting](image-distortion.md) how we [understand](understanding.md) [reality](reality.md).

We should be driven by [standards](values.md), not [opposition to something else](people-conflicts.md). The standards themselves have their [source of authority](power.md), so we must know what that standard is and whether we want to submit to it.

APPLICATION: We must decide to identify with [good](morality.md) things, and to [resist hardship](hardship.md), if we want to live [the good life](goodlife.md).

The evidence that a life is well-lived comes from several simultaneous conditions:

1. The purposes of that person were legitimately [moral](morality.md).
2. That person found [meaning](meaning.md) by the very end of it.
3. That person has [released](mind-feelings-happiness.md) any resentment or bitterness from the pain of their experience.
4. Other people found meaning in that person's experience or existence.

APPLICATION: *Everyone* near the end of a well-lived life will have the following:

1. Has experienced facing and overcoming their [fears](mind-feelings-fear.md).
2. Has [opposed](people-conflicts.md) something significantly [immoral](morality.md).
3. [Accomplished](success-1_why.md) something that gave them tremendous [meaning](meaning.md).
4. [Enjoyed themselves](fun.md) when they had nothing to [do](purpose.md).
5. Knows how to [cope with death](hardship-death.md).

Whether [society](people-culture.md) considers this a worthy endeavor is another matter entirely.

APPLICATION: Transforming ourselves is far more important, and longer-lasting, than transforming society. After all, transforming society is simply [transforming other people](influence.md), and people mostly [learn](education.md) by example.

APPLICATION: Having sophistication can give us a broader understanding of [society](people-culture.md), but it's not necessary to live well because it may go against how we wish to [identify](identity.md). We would do better to [integrate our shadow](personality.md) than pretend we don't have one.

## Additional reading

[Aristotle: How to live a good life](https://ralphammer.com/aristotle-how-to-live-a-good-life/)