# How to handle depression and existential crises

Don't confuse your depression with sadness:

- If your situation is going terribly, you may just be [sad](mind-feelings-sadness.md).
  - It's okay to be sad, even if it's difficult.
  - Many times, we magnify our sadness into something worse by giving it more [meaning](meaning.md) than it deserves.
- Depression is where you've come to believe that one of your needs can *never* be met (instead of just right now), then [relive the past](hardship-ptsd.md) repeatedly to find an answer.
- Over time, depression will erode your [philosophical views](philosophy.md), which will lead to further decay of your [sense of identity](identity.md), which will eventually lead to an existential crisis.

Contrary to what you feel, your first problem is *not* a lack of understanding or happiness:

- If you're battling existential issues, your ability to understand reality is better than most.
  - Digging deeper to find something "known" won't get you anywhere because all understanding is gradations of [trusting](trust.md) various components of perception.
- Between what exists in nature and the challenges you *can* strive for, life already has everything you need to find [satisfaction](mind-feelings-happiness.md).

What you *really* want and need is meaning in your life:

- [Meaning](meaning.md) is when we feel responsible for doing something.
- Very frequently, we face crises of meaning because we're so [afraid](mind-feelings-fear.md) of failure that we only make "safe" bets.
- The only answer is to find something mundane but necessary, then commit to doing it.
- Never let yourself feel terrible, and *not* do some sort of work.
  - If you feel awful and don't do anything [productive](success-4_routine.md), you'll only add more depression over time.
  - Even if it's not the things you absolutely must do or are most important, you *need* any sort of forward motion to find traction in discovering meaning.

The only meaning that persists involves things you invest into others:

- Hugging and getting a massage can help with grief and suffering, since the physical contact releases endorphins.
- We can become so [habituated](habits.md) to our thoughts that we lose track of what other people are doing.
  - If people around you are avoiding you, it's likely they're [self-aware](awareness.md) enough to protect themselves from you sabotaging *their* [joy](mind-feelings-happiness.md).
- While none of your friends will tell you (since it's [taboo](morality-taboo.md) or may throw you into further depression), your depression is selfish.
  - If you weren't preoccupied with your thoughts and focused instead on addressing others' problems, you would slowly find contentment in the [results](results.md) you'd accumulate over time.