# How to handle losing friends

Losing friends is always difficult, but it's even more painful if you needed that friend at a critical time or when you were friends for a very long time:

- We've devoted or trusted a *massive* part of ourselves to that person, and they have failed us.

Carefully consider *why* you lost that friend.

- It may have been something you said or did, or could be the situation itself.
- Very often, we have no control over our lost friends (e.g., former coworkers, friends of other severed friendships)
- If it *was* you, work to change those parts in you and become a better version of yourself.

Accept that some things just can't work out, and move on:

- Find [new friends](people-4_friends.md) to fill that void.
- [Release](mind-feelings-happiness-focus.md) the misery and anger to [God](spiritual-exercises-prayer.md).

Since the first few months will be difficult, spend as much time with other friends as you can to avoid the pangs of loneliness.

Try to avoid sabotaging friendships *around* that friend.

- It's very easy to vent your feelings, but it'll force them to take a side.
- If you can't keep your feelings to yourself about that friend, then find another community of people.

## How to handle lost friendships from too much achievement

Once you start achieving personal growth after enduring hardship, *all* your friendships can become complicated:

- Your less advantaged friends must either:
  1. Acknowledge your success and become inspired by it.
  2. Grow bitter over your situation changing while theirs stays the same.
- With the more advantaged friends who helped you, you'll develop equal status (or maybe even *more* status), which means they must either:
  1. Concede their superior status and treat you as an equal.
  2. Become unhappy with your perseverance and [success](success-6_humility.md).
- New friends won't know what to make of your success, especially if you communicate too early into the friendship about the hardship you had experienced.

This can be devastating, but isn't as severe if you [find a new network of friends](people-4_friends.md) to replace the ones who push you away.

Keep on pushing, since you have now become a phenomenal [story](stories.md) with a happy ending.