# How to handle extreme loneliness and solitude

Even in a crowd, we suffer loneliness when we can't relate with others, which will often compound over years to make us lonelier.

Loneliness usually comes from an unfair situation:

- [Incarceration](hardship-incarceration.md) is often lonely, especially in countries that keep prisoners away from each other.
- Any long-term [poverty](money-1_why.md) creates loneliness, such as from [prolonged unemployment](hardship-unemployment.md).
- Even in a crowd, separation from a [culture](people-culture.md) of origin (e.g., in a foreign country) can make us feel like we don't belong.
- Extreme intelligence can often mean the only people we can find shared experiences with are on the internet.
- Bitterness or grief can drive away others, even if it's because [a loved one has died](hardship-death.md).

Learn to enjoy passing time with solitary activities:

- Learn and play card games, especially solitaire and card tricks.
- Learn and explore [philosophy](philosophy.md).
- Make stories, either by [writing them out](language-writing.md) or in your mind.
- Practice [tossing games or juggling](fun.md).
- If you have anything available, try [creating](mind-creativity.md) something with what little you have.
- If you're away from everything, imagine doing something you're familiar with that makes you comfortable.
- Spend time in [meditation](awareness-meditation.md) and [prayer](spiritual-exercises-prayer.md).

If you can, try to go to more social events:

- [Making friends](people-4_friends.md) takes time, so don't expect immediate results.
- Even if it's *not* your preference, all you need to do is find one connection with someone within the crowd.