[How to ask questions the smart way](http://catb.org/~esr/faqs/smart-questions.html)
(2001) How To Ask Questions The Smart Way

[Don't ask to ask, just ask!](https://dontasktoask.com/)

[How I prepare a talk for a tech conference (2022) | Hacker News](https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=40011138)
[How I do (and don't) prepare a talk for a tech conference - Chelsea Troy](https://chelseatroy.com/2022/08/03/how-i-do-and-dont-prepare-a-talk-for-a-technical-conference/)

[The best way to have complex discussions? | Hacker News](https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=40277547)
[The best way to have complex discussions — CQ2](https://cq2.co/blog/the-best-way-to-have-complex-discussions)

[Start presentations on the second slide | Hacker News](https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=40680648)
[Start Presentations on the Second Slide - by Kent Beck](https://tidyfirst.substack.com/p/start-presentations-on-the-second)

[Do not try to be the smartest in the room; try to be the kindest | Hacker News](https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=40695997)
[Do not try to be the smartest in the room; try to be the kindest. | Jorge Galindo's blog](https://www.jorgegalindo.me/en/blog/posts/do-not-be-the-smartest-in-the-room-try-to-be-the-kindest)
- this is much more about expressing kindly, versus being "nice"

[Lessons I Wish I Had Been Taught (1996) [pdf] | Hacker News](https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=40808933)
[Ten Lessons I Wish I Had Been Taught - comm-rota.pdf](https://www.ams.org/notices/199701/comm-rota.pdf)

[Software Engineering Tips](http://www.yacoset.com/Home/communication-tips)
(2010) Communication Tips

[Jon Cairns](https://medium.com/techspiration-ideas-making-it-happen/communication-how-to-be-a-better-software-developer-869c50767701)
Communication: how to be a better software developer

[Nonviolent Communication](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nonviolent_Communication)
an approach to nonviolent living based on the idea that all human beings have the capacity for compassion and only resort to violence or behavior that harms themselves and others when they do not recognize more effective strategies for meeting needs

[Jeff Goins](https://medium.com/personal-growth/the-single-most-overlooked-secret-to-influencing-other-people-32433b7ae285)
(2017) The Single Most Overlooked Secret To Influencing Other People

[Changing minds](http://changingminds.org/techniques/questioning/5w1h.htm)
5W1H - A simple set of question framings

[Changing minds](http://changingminds.org/techniques/questioning/socratic_questions.htm)
Socratic Questioning

[Chris Mague](http://blog.mague.com/?p=704)
(2017) Things you need to know about giving tech talks

[Tiffanie Wen](http://www.bbc.com/capital/story/20170627-the-tricks-to-make-yourself-effortlessly-charming)
(2017) The tricks to make yourself effortlessly charming

[Mike Bushong](https://dzone.com/articles/dont-ask-you-take-vacation)
Don't Ask Before You Take Vacation

[Yegor Bugayenko](https://www.yegor256.com/2018/12/25/speaker-cheat-sheet.html)
(2018) Speaker Cheat Sheet

[Mike Crittenden](https://critter.blog/2020/12/01/never-underestimate-peoples-ability-to-not-hear-you/)
(2020) Never underestimate people’s ability to not hear you

[Mike Crittenden](https://critter.blog/2022/02/04/dont-expect-asymmetrical-communication/)
(2022) Don’t expect asymmetrical communication
> You know that thing where you keep asking the new person to speak up when they need help, and they never do? You keep begging them to ask more questions, and they say they will, then nothing?

[What are some ways to showcase analytical skills without using technical jargon?](https://www.linkedin.com/comm/advice/0/what-some-ways-showcase-analytical-skills-without-wasjc)

[“I am an actor playing a role” - by Chris Guillebeau](https://www.yearofmentalhealth.com/p/i-am-an-actor-playing-a-role)

[5 Charming Ways To Start A Conversation With Literally Anyone, According To Psychology | Justin Kelly McClure | YourTango](https://www.yourtango.com/self/charming-ways-start-conversation-with-literally-anyone)


## Art of Communication
Don't make important decisions alone
Don't cut communication, don't go away, don't flee
When you communicate a hard decision, don't hide behind emails, talk directly to your audience
Use the [SBI tool](https://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/situation-behavior-impact-feedback.htm) (Situation - Behavior - Impact)
Assertiveness is ability to say yes to the person, no to the task
:star: Prepare, verify carefully what you will communicate
Check if your message has been heard and understood
Expect / Give feedback
Set the main idea first
Avoid passive constructions
Be open minded, don't think you know everything about your audience
Use the body language (physical and visual contact, ...)
Stay calm : Wrap up then stop talking. Pause. Repeat. Ask clarification of a statement. Be clear.
Look for humor.
Look for compromise if the other cares about something not important for you
Agree to disagree : take beak so everyone calms down
Assert yourself : express (negative) opinions and needs positively. Ask for help. Learn from errors. Accept feedback. Say no
Observe rather than interpret. Communicate facts not interpretations
Understand people's needs/feelings
Use non violent communication

## Art of Questions
Just ask
Explain your misunderstanding
Explain / state what you know / don't know
Sound confident
Have a come back
Know first which answer type you're expecting : Opinion ? Factually correct answer ? Well reasoned judgment ?
Avoid "yes" or "no" questions
Dig deeper (5 Why...)
Use the power of silence
Don't interrupt
Prepare the topic (know a bit what you are talking about)
Check your assumptions (are you sure about what you think you know ?)
Find the right person to ask
Use correct grammar
Keep the question simple
Differentiate between open (Why ?) vs closed (when ? who ?) question types
Explain why you are asking