# What maturity is Upon birth, everything was new to us, since we hadn't seen it before. Eventually, we [saw](image.md) some things as more familiar, and we fixated exclusively on the unfamiliar things. Maturity is the set of [prejudices](mind-bias.md) we gain that give us an [approximate representation](image.md) of [reality](reality.md) without needing to re-examine ourselves. This comes through experience and [wisdom](understanding.md) combined, and it doesn't stop expanding if we wish to [live well](goodlife.md). Those prejudices are common sense, but only "common" to someone who has come to understand those things for a long time. Nobody is born with common sense, but most people develop something like common sense if they've had common experiences and created common [conclusions](logic.md). ## Awareness + virtue Immature people, as a general rule, are aware of [injustice](morality-justice.md), but they tend to attribute it to odd causes like bystanders or claim their [decisions](people-decisions.md) are a product of [victimhood](politics-leftism.md). They will also tend to treat their [bias](mind-bias.md) as [fact](reality.md). We gain experiences as we grow older. These experiences shape us to create accurate [prejudices](image.md) about life if we [understand](understanding.md) how they work and what they imply. Maturity is mostly [intuition](mind-feelings.md). Like with all other intuition, maturity has multiple aspects that tend to scale with age. But, it scales more directly with [wisdom](understanding.md). APPLICATION: Younger people are more often exploited by [influential](influence.md) people who can [distort their image](image-distortion.md) to imply their [virtuousness](morality.md). One of the clearest indicators of maturity is that the person takes personal responsibility for what they do. They've become [aware](awareness.md) of the [consequences](results.md) they bring on themselves and claim title to all [decisions](people-decisions.md) they have made. As people mature, they become increasingly unaffected by their environment because they experience less [novelty](image.md) from their experiences. If they've gained enough wisdom, they won't react to how they [feel](mind-feelings.md) as much as to what they [know](understanding.md). Their increased [understanding](understanding.md) will mean most of their "soft skills" are usually better. They'll be more decisive with words, speak more intentionally, walk more elegantly, and manipulate objects more precisely. While we may still control our decisions, we *don't* control 99.999% of our [environment](results.md), and there's a type of [humility](morality.md) that always comes with the understanding of how little we really know or have control over. A product of that humility is a form of gratitude. With enough [understanding](understanding.md), people slowly come to realize how much other people established [order](unknown.md) in the past to permit people to currently confront chaotic things. Young people haven't experienced life before [technology](technology.md) or certain [liberties](morality-justice.md), so the simple fact that their inexperience impedes their ability to fully [understand](understanding.md) the effort it takes to simply maintain everything. Another quality of age is that we learn to be satisfied with less. This means we take less [social risk](socialrisk.md) as we age (since we're fine with less grandiose returns) and tend to be [happier](mind-feelings-happiness.md). APPLICATION: The [scope of risk](socialrisk.md) we take demonstrates how mature we are. The older we get, the more [precise and calculated](safety-riskmgmt.md) our risks will general become. However, at the same time, aging also tends to provoke us to more risk-averse actions. While this may be healthy for some things (e.g., higher-quality [insurance](money-insurance.md) policies), it also means we miss out on genuinely [meaningful](meaning.md) [trends](trends.md). ## Stages Every person, from birth to death, transitions through stages of questioning. Their entire existence is defined by the way they process their questions: Can I trust the world? (~0-2 years old) - Concerned with mother over issues like feeding, receiving comfort, pain from teething, and sleeping. - If [loved](people-love.md), we form a healthy degree of [hope](trust.md) and [determination to persevere](purpose.md). - When neglected, we'll instinctively draw away from others or have a poor understanding of [reality](reality.md). - We require *massive* introspection to even budge the results of this stage later in life, and it determines most of our [trust issues](trust.md). Is it okay to be me? (~2-4 years old) - Concerned with the relationship with both parents over issues like managing bodily functions, toilet training, controlling muscles, talking, and walking. - If [loved](people-love.md), we build willpower and restraint. - When neglected, we end up highly compulsive or highly impulsive. - Most of our issues about [identity](identity.md) come from this stage. Am I okay to move, do, and act? (~4-5 years old) - Concerned with immediate family over issues like exploring, discovering, having adventures, and playing. - If [loved](people-love.md), we give [purpose](purpose.md) to our actions. - When neglected, we either become ruthless toward others or needlessly inhibited toward ourselves. - Most of our issues about finding [purpose](purpose.md) come from this stage. Can I make it in the world of people and things? (~5-12 years old) - Concerned with school, teachers, friends, and neighborhood with the need to achieve and accomplish. - If loved, we [feel competent](success-1_why.md) and naturally make [methods](habits.md) from our actions. - When neglected, we either create a narrow sense of [virtue](morality.md) or maintain [mindless inertia](addiction.md) toward tasks. - Most of how we approach [work and play](results.md) comes from this stage. Who am I, and what can I be? (~13-19 years old) - Concerned with [peers](people-friends.md), [social groups](groups-member.md), and any [influencers](influence.md) with the need to clarify [identity](identity.md), find [direction](purpose.md), and become an adult. - If loved, we become [faithful, loyal, and devoted](understanding-certainty.md) to the groups we're in. - When neglected, we either become fanatical about our groups or become [outcasts](morality-taboo.md) from everyone. - Most of our approach to everything in life is specified at this stage. Can I love? (~20-39 years old) - Concerned with [lovers](gender.md), [friends](people-friends.md), and [work](jobs-specialization.md) connections to find intimate relationships, make a [work](results.md) life, have a social life, and balance everything. - Our physical peak usually takes place around our late 20s. - If loved, we learn the true [meaning of love](people-love.md) and affiliate ourselves with healthy social connections. - When neglected, we either become sexually or emotionally promiscuous or exclude everyone and become antisocial. - Most of our view of the world is clarified and reinforced at this stage. Can I make my life count? (~40-64 years old) - Concerned with our [children](people-family.md) and [the surrounding community](groups-member.md) with "giving back" to society, [helping others](success-1_why.md), and making others well. - If we're successful, we learn to [be more caring](morality.md) and produce meaningful [results](results.md). - Our mental peak typically takes place around our early 50s. - If we fail, we either overextend with our tasks or reject others and their needs. - Most of our legitimate [ability to influence](influence.md) comes from this stage. Was it okay to have been me? (~65+ years old) - Concerned with society, the entire world, and life itself to find [life achievements](success-1_why.md) and create [meaning and purpose](purpose.md) from the [past](stories.md). - If we're successful, we develop unbelievable [wisdom](understanding.md) and learn to renounce our connection with [physical things](humanity.md). - If we fail, we either become presumptuous about everyone or bitter at everything. - This stage determines how well we approach [death and mortality](mind-feelings-fear.md). APPLICATION: It's better to find [meaning](meaning.md) earlier in life when you have time and strength than later *after* you've expended much of your life. ## Judging Among the other prejudices we make when encountering people, we tend to gauge others' maturity. We treat someone who behaves below what we'd expect for their age as "immature", while we respect people we believe have attained a "mature" status. When we look at someone younger, we track their maturity by how we [imagine](imagination.md) we were at that age. Often, for someone older, we only consider them immature if they behave *worse* than how we behave at our present age observing them (e.g., a 25-year-old not realizing a 50-year-old is immature until they behave like an adolescent). APPLICATION: Older people always bemoan the youth because they imagined they weren't as inexperienced as the youth are today. Every generation has its own [cultural](people-culture.md) variation of the "kids these days don't know how good they have it" speech, barring a [group-affecting](groups-member.md) situation where the older generation [*worsened* the situation](people-conflicts-war.md) for the younger generation. At that point, the older generation will either feel [shame](mind-feelings-shame.md) or arrogance, depending on how they [internalized the story](stories.md). APPLICATION: As people age, their [decisions](people-decisions.md) are *always* more well-considered, but not always wiser. Wisdom requires adding [morality](morality.md) to [understanding](understanding.md). We don't think about maturity in others until it's unusual by the standards of our [cultural intuition](people-culture.md). People don't usually identify maturity in their peers unless the person is behaving *very* differently than them. APPLICATION: [Technology](technology.md) and [culture](people-culture.md) that were around when you were a child is "normal" and how the world works, but is a new [trend](trends.md) if it was developed between adolescence and about 35, and against the natural order of things above age 35. Frequently, under severe [conflicts](people-conflicts.md) or [hardship](hardship.md), we can regress back in age to *any* of our past life stages. But, that hardship can also grow us *very* rapidly through multiple life stages when channeled correctly. [Young people](maturity.md) value novelty far more than older people because they believe a brand-new thing will give more [amusement](purpose.md) and answer their [questions](understanding.md). Older people don't only because they've found out that everything carries similar [patterns](symbols.md). We also tend to judge [time](datetime.md) differently as we age. - When we're young, our experiences are new, and time moves slower. As we experience more life, time moves faster, and we all inevitably experience *years* with the same speed as we had seen weeks or months. - When we [imagine](imagination.md) what we will do, we are far more scrupulous of our time use as it becomes more scarce. APPLICATION: To make life seem longer, experience new things. Time will move slower as you experience them. However, a well-experienced life will still yield the same time compression after enough life experiences (since they all will eventually have some overlap). ## Status The largest standard of maturity comes through a group granting status to a [member](groups-member.md) who has fulfilled a rite of passage, which typically starts around adolescence, but in [modern societies](groups-large.md) can exist as late as the early 30s. While it varies by [culture](people-culture.md), a rite of passage is a transition from childhood to adulthood, and [represents](symbols.md) several things simultaneously: - That person had a [desire](purpose.md) to prove themselves and asserted their [actions](results.md) to that end by doing (probably) stupid things, and they've realized their limits upon the world at large. - That person has come to understand what they *can't* do and the right things to [trust](trust.md) for handling the situation. - Their [group](groups-member.md) believes from that person's experience that they've [changed](people-changes.md) enough that they're now a junior member of society instead of a dependent child. Children are often destructive, needy, and have a poor [understanding](understanding.md) of [how to thrive](goodlife.md). They hit critical learning periods where they absorb specific information, and their "child" place in society must be preserved [for their benefit](people-family.md). A distinctive rite of passage empowers a child to find [meaning](meaning.md) in [creating](mind-creativity.md) their [self-identity](identity.md) through contrasting their [decisions](people-decisions.md) against how they were raised. During the transition, and irrespective of the culture, a child will do a few things in an approximate order: 1. Try to question *everything* their [family](people-family.md) has [trained into them](understanding.md). 2. Turn to [friends](people-friends.md) to find alternatives to what they were raised in. 3. Resolve their [conflicts](conflicts-inner.md) between the two or more competing views. This can frequently include vocally standing against [authority figures](groups-small.md). 4. Make permanent [decisions](people-decisions.md) about what [values](values.md) they wish to honor. Others' [evil](morality-evil.md) actions can stall their development, but they can expedite the decision-making process with [wisdom](understanding.md). This rite of passage is necessary for social harmony because it demarcates between "adult" leaders and "child" followers, as well as carving out a person's [identity](identity.md) in light of that distinction. Because of the risks of choosing wrongly, every single rite of passage will exclude at least some people who don't fulfill it, from both aspects of laziness and incompetence. The people who never fulfill a rite of passage will always represent a lower status in a [culture's](people-culture.md) hierarchy. They'll typically exist as inferior in that group until they [change](people-changes.md) their [habits](habits.md) to find a new social group (which is a *separate* rite of passage) or accomplish something that proves their worth to their community. In the absence of a clear rite of passage, most children end up persisting in a dead-end lifestyle until they find their path: - Working a miserable, low-wage job - Having trouble finding an [identity](identity.md), including with [gender](gender.md) - Pursuing a career path that fails miserably - Getting fired [unfairly](morality-justice.md), potentially repeatedly - [Conflicts](people-conflicts.md) with [law enforcement](people-rules.md) - Experiencing hardship or loss they must overcome APPLICATION: A rite of passage will always have people who will never pass the ritual's criteria. A [group leader](groups-small.md) must know beforehand [what to do](people-decisions.md) with those people. Often, [marriage](relationships-marriage.md) can mix with a rite of passage, though the [culture](people-culture.md) can vary it dramatically. Some cultures value marriage as an inherent passage into adulthood, while others treat it as the termination of being young. ## Advancing As a person gains more life experiences, their [decisions](people-decisions.md) start developing clear patterns. Over time, the best measure of a person will frequently be expressed through the series of changes they engage in. They will endure more rites of passage through their life stages, which will slowly form into an ever-adapting, slowly solidifying [story](stories.md). As someone keeps experiencing life and starts finding their ideal approach, they stop being as [malleable](people-changes.md) as when they were younger. This is a sign someone's experiences have conformed them to a distinct [personality](personality.md) and [expression](image.md), but anyone significantly younger will see them as more an "institution" than a changing and dynamic individual. APPLICATION: Older people are considered an "institution", so everyone expects different things for them than if they were "normal people", and they always have a [myth](stories-myths.md) surrounding their existence: - When they [think or believe](values.md) something, it makes sense to those around them because younger people intuitively see them as [predictable](imagination.md). - If they're [creating](creations.md) something, people assume they had comparatively more time to work on it, so it's only natural they'd make it. As a person gains experience, they will typically start fading in strength. By the time someone is middle-aged, they're still growing in wisdom but are fading from their peak ability to perform, and growing old means *all* aptitude will start to fade. APPLICATION: Generally, people who run the world are aged 48-55 because they've acquired the most [understanding](understanding.md) about avoiding exploitation by [storytellers'](stories-storytellers.md) [influence](influence.md), but also haven't started declining from [aging](legacy.md) yet. For this reason, society has a tendency to adhere to [conservative](politics-conservativeliberal.md) [trends](trends.md) that are usually 30-40 years old (because they're nostalgically [familiar](habits.md) with them), and "new" large-scale trends tend to be 10-20 years old. As we get closer to the end of our lives, our time becomes more scarce, and we start pursuing ever-increasing [meaning](meaning.md) with our existence. This goes all the way to the end, where our health and time are waning, and we're trying to build our [legacy](legacy.md). ## Maturity in modern civilization In many modern civilizations, children are processed through an age-based system, where they reach new phases if they hit [minimum age criteria](math.md). [Modern civilization](people-culture.md) is especially poor at rites of passage because of the [niches and specializations](jobs-specialization.md) that shift with [technology](technology.md), meaning there's no universal standard in a large society. Without clear boundaries, most older adults in modern civilization condemn the youth for receiving privileges they didn't earn (which was once true for them as well as children). APPLICATION: Most people in modern society don't experience an adequate rite of passage. For this reason, they're stuck with a childish view of the world and constantly trying to prove themselves until they learn from a [severe hardship](hardship.md) (such as having to [maintain their automobile](autos.md) or [file taxes](money-accounting.md)). APPLICATION: Older people in societies without a rite of passage distrust their youth more, so they tend to put them away from mainstream society (e.g., high school) until they're "ready" to become mature. However, this only forestalls or inhibits their development because they don't have a chance to test their [conflicting](conflicts-inner.md) [values](values.md), and the problem will magnify itself across decades. Group leaders often use "[grades](math.md)" to keep everyone motivated and measure if children are achieving what they must [learn](education.md). However, those numbers are frequently arbitrary games to focus their attention. [Some groups](politics-leftism.md), however, don't consider *any* criteria as worth holding them back, and it sabotages the [meaningfulness](meaning.md) that would have come from attaining high marks. APPLICATION: Without a demarcation that gives freedom to experiment, and the members haven't been tested by a [rite of passage](meaning.md), [social groups](groups-small.md) will give as much time and consideration to both good ideas and bad ideas. This can be especially bad for ideas that have consistently been proven wrong. Eventually, in an age-based system, children reach an age of majority (~12-21 years old), where society presumes they're likely to behave maturely at that age. In a society without any passage rituals, that age will get older as time passes to accommodate an ever-increasingly low maturity rate from older and older people having little to no competence from the resistance they should have faced. APPLICATION: An age-based social system only works if you believe children will naturally progress on their own. If they need prompting or nurturing to develop, age is only a rough estimate that won't correspond to anything. Any system you use must use measurements based on [achievement](success-1_why.md), or the gifted children will suffer. APPLICATION: An age of majority becomes socially complicated when it's [enforced as law](people-rules.md) and between societies: - A romance between two people ages 16 and 19 is [legally](people-rules.md) complicated, but a romance between two people ages 23 and 67 is more [taboo](morality-taboo.md). - Occasionally, they can fight in a [war](people-conflicts-war.md), drink alcohol, and live autonomously in a foreign country, but not be allowed to drink, smoke, or rent a car in their home country. Older people have more experience with [political upheaval](people-conflicts-war.md), so most protesters and political activists are young people who aren't being economical with their time and energy. APPLICATION: The only legitimately high-risk political conflicts are when the *elderly* start protesting as well.