Consider playing [games] with them to fix many of their issues: - red light/green light is good for learning to listen and follow directions - patty cake and clapping games for hand/eye coordination - hokey pokey for foot/eye coordination and mapping body parts LOOK FOR MORE with siblings, reserve time as "solo play time" to give each of them an opportunity to play with their parents Get godparents in case you die A parent's possible job description: - [cook] - [creative] who makes things for children - [manager] - [teacher](pedagogy) - [moral beacon] - [logistician] if a kid is having explosive tantrums, one possible solution is to stop talking - don't give ANY feedback when they're blowing up, since they may be overwhelmed - even comforting words or attempts to console may aggravate them further - simply give them space - if they're in public or don't calm down, indicate there will be consequences for their actions and leave it alone kids don't need much with respect to school supplies - most of that is [advertising] to foster a [consumer mindset](debt) when a kid says they have to go to the bathroom, you have at most 2 minutes REDDIT COMMENT Lean into the bite. I work in pediatrics and we’re re taught that if a child bites you, lean into it (push whatever part of you they’re biting further into their mouth) because their automatic reaction will be to open their mouth and the risk of them breaking your skin is greatly diminished. Source: I was just bitten at work 🙄 Edit: a word and grammar. Also, how the hell is my most upvoted comment about being bitten at work??? 😂 That works for cats too. If you pull away, the teeth dig in, but if you push into their mouth, they get confused and let go. It’s a natural reaction that you will see in most mammals. The instinct is associated with the same instinct of gag reflex. However, you won’t see it with snakes or reptiles. (So don’t further jam your hand in the alligators mouth, you’ll just lose more) I do this to my brother's dog. She is a great dane/mastiff and loves to mouth on your arm when she wants attention and to play. I shove my arm further into her mouth and the dog's like, "no! Not like that!" at the end of every day, ask your kids if you've done anything you need to apologize to them about “Tarian y Gweithiwr” - 4 February 1897 THINGS THAT A BOY SHOULD LEARN - to leave cigarettes alone - to be kind to every animal - to be humane and brave - to be respectful of his parents - to be tender toward his younger sisters - to close doors without slamming them - to gather the fire wood every night - to sew a button and darn his sock. - to go about his chores directly and cheerfully - to close the door in winter to keep out the chill - to close the door in summer to keep out the flies - to wash the dishes and make his bed when needed - to clean his shoes instead of his sisters (cleaning them) - to rise from bed without needing to be called a second time - to return from his chores without delay - to be courteous to all, and especially to the elderly Make it clear that actions are NOT okay when you screw up - that behavior needs context FROM JULES Children need the following: - approval from their same-gender parent - acceptance from their opposite-gender parent they also need the following: - fathers must have good boundaries - mothers must be nurturing this creates a unique combination: - boys need clearly-defined approval from their father - girls need nurturing approval from their mother - boys need nurturing acceptance from their mother - girls need clearly-defined acceptance from their father Kids need a few things 1 feel loved 2 feel protected 3 feel safe 4 matter 4 ways to meet that unmet need 1 get sick 2 be brilliant 3 be a carer for others 4 be the rebellious difficult one, usually when all the other roles are gone [Cousins are disappearing. Is this reshaping the experience of childhood? | Hacker News](https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=39340501) [Cousins are disappearing. Is this reshaping the experience of childhood? | CBC News](https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/cousins-decline-canada-1.7103338) [Children need risk, fear, and excitement in play | Hacker News](https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=39544286) [Why Children Need Risk, Fear, and Excitement in Play](https://www.afterbabel.com/p/why-children-need-risk-fear-and-excitement) [Polyamory gaining mainstream acceptance | WORLD](https://wng.org/roundups/polyamory-gaining-mainstream-acceptance-1712086237) [The victims of polyamory | WORLD](https://wng.org/podcasts/the-victims-of-polyamory-1712005149) [Female Founder Secrets: Fertility | Hacker News](https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=26345226) [Fertility](https://femfosec.com/fertility/) [Understanding the Root of Your Child’s Misbehavior | Jim Daly](https://jimdaly.focusonthefamily.com/understanding-the-root-of-your-childs-misbehavior-3/) - this means parents who have kids who misbehave and backtalk have reinforced one of those 4 goals [Deterioration of local community a major driver of loss of play-based childhood | Hacker News](https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=40637102) [The Great Deterioration of Local Community And The Loss of The Play-Based Childhood](https://www.afterbabel.com/p/community-based-childhood) - CLOSELY EXAMINE HOW THIS CAN/WILL REBOUND [The 10 foot rule](https://thinkspot.com/discourse/VnuaX7/post/liberty5300/the-10-foot-rule/ZBtVm2W) - hyper-paternalism is rampant when a society grows weak [What is the Circle of Security - Circle of Security International](https://www.circleofsecurityinternational.com/circle-of-security-model/what-is-the-circle-of-security/) [The case for not sanitising fairy tales | Hacker News](https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=40779785) [The Case for Not Sanitizing Fairy Tales by Haley Stewart](https://www.plough.com/en/topics/culture/literature/the-case-for-not-sanitizing-fairy-tales) [Daniel Darling: Rejecting a distorted version of manhood | WORLD](https://wng.org/podcasts/daniel-darling-rejecting-a-distorted-version-of-manhood-1719874811) [Kicker: Grandmas to the rescue | WORLD](https://wng.org/podcasts/kicker-grandmas-to-the-rescue-1720477765) [Daniel Miessler](https://danielmiessler.com/blog/is-it-wrong-to-have-children/) Is It Wrong to Have Children? [Nitzia Logothetis](https://www.seleni.org/advice-support/2018/3/16/monitoring-our-parenting) (2018) Monitoring Our Parenting Does tracking your child's vital signs keep him safe or drive you crazy? ["You Are Actively Harming Your Child's Well-Being": Teachers Are Sharing The Hard Truths That Every Single Parent Today Needs To Hear](https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/actively-harming-childs-well-being-034602148.html) [The Marshmallow Test does not reliably predict adult functioning | Hacker News](https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=41139854) [Delay of gratification and adult outcomes: The Marshmallow Test does not reliably predict adult functioning - Sperber - Child Development - Wiley Online Library](https://srcd.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/cdev.14129) [Barna Takes: What Moms Need Now - Barna Group](https://www.barna.com/barna-takes-what-moms-need-now/) [6 Things Kids Totally Notice Without Adults Realizing It | HuffPost Life](https://www.huffpost.com/entry/things-kids-notice-adults-dont-realize_l_66b50479e4b05d0bc2811ae9) [Extension Store](https://store.extension.iastate.edu/Topic/Home-and-Family/Parenting?S=0&A=0&F=0) [5 Books on the History of Christian Parenting in America](https://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2022/october/david-setran-books-history-christian-parenting-america.html) [Victorian Parenting Guides: Starting a Collection](https://www.finebooksmagazine.com/fine-books-news/victorian-parenting-guides-starting-collection) [A Magic Phrase to Instantly Calm an Angry Child—At Any Age | Psychology Today](https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/liking-the-child-you-love/202502/a-magic-phrase-to-instantly-calm-an-angry-child-at-any-age) [Parenting](https://www.dailywire.com/show/parenting) ## parenting hierarchy The hierarchy of good parenting kids need 1 mom and dad loving each other and parenting together 2 surrogate parents (e.g., grandparents) 3 coparenting back and forth between single parents 4 single parenting 5 orphan or foster care ## antisocial behavior children are more likely to express antisocial behavior when their mother is expresses hostility and distrust - most notably, between ages 4-8, but between ages 0-10 ## highly sensitive parenting [Dr. Elaine Aron](https://hsperson.com/the-highly-sensitive-parent/) (2005) The Highly Sensitive Parent [Felicia Schneiderhan ](https://www.realsimple.com/work-life/family/highly-sensitive-parent) (2017) I Just Found Out I’m a Highly Sensitive Parent—And It Changed My Life [Kelly McQuillan](https://www.todaysparent.com/family/parenting/what-its-like-to-parent-when-youre-a-highly-sensitive-person/) (2020) What it’s like to parent when you’re a Highly Sensitive Person [Patricia Harteneck](https://www.seleni.org/advice-support/2018/3/16/parenting-when-you-are-highly-sensitive) (2018) Parenting When You Are Highly Sensitive How to take care of your kids and yourself ## dev dad [David Walsh](https://davidwalsh.name/being-a-dev-dad) (2016) Being a Dev Dad