# How we make decisions A decision is the closest component we can ever get to what we call a "[soul](humanity.md)", and is the mechanism that defines anything we call "intelligent" or "human". We tend to judge our [identity](identity.md) by our decisions when they yield positive [results](results.md), but lean more into our [circumstances](reality.md) when we experience [hardship](hardship.md) (a product of [guilt and shame](mind-feelings-shame.md)). However, we tend to [believe](understanding-certainty.md) the opposite in others: their decisions are *not* their identity when they're succeeding, while their decisions are *entirely* who they are when they fail. We are *constantly* deciding things. When we were little, nearly all our decisions were conscious. However, we quickly developed many [habits](habits.md) automatically, and those decisions were pushed into the subconscious. In a single day, the average adult makes about 35,000 decisions, though we're only aware of about 100 of them. Contrary to how it may [seem](image.md), decision-making is far more of a strain on our willpower than actually [*doing* most things](results.md). As we develop [habits](habits.md) from infancy onward and our [identity](identity.md) grows, we subconsciously conform to an identity with further decisions and [changes](people-changes.md) without [awareness](awareness.md) of it. As we gain [experience](understanding.md), *most* decisions become [habitual](habits.md). Decisions force [change](people-changes.md) and require directing [our essence](humanity.md) to it, so it's a gigantic portion of why [aging](maturity.md) makes us both set in our ways and unaware of the passage of time. ## Willpower We face [conflicts](conflicts-inner.md) about what we want. If we have *any* conflict about what we [imagine](imagination.md) [doing](results.md) or [believing](understanding-certainty.md), we must deny a [sentiment](mind-feelings.md) to [act](creations.md) toward a repeat of that action. "Willpower" is the amount of resistance we must use to make a particular decision. Every day, we wake up with a certain amount of willpower based on how much we're [certain](understanding-certainty.md) about what we can do. Over the day, we can refresh that [certainty](understanding-certainty.md) through affirmations or rest, but that willpower reserve will slowly drain until we become incapable of even performing basic [tasks](purpose.md) or resisting *any* [substance](addiction-substances.md). APPLICATION: We slowly lose [willpower](purpose.md) from decision-making, and are more likely to be impulsive when confronted with too much selection. We can build our willpower with [habits](habits.md) that push our limits. That reserve of willpower is a universal component of *any* task, though there are broad [value-based](values.md) variances in how it applies (e.g., patience versus strength). Our willpower reserve is connected with our animal capacity for brainpower, which is based on sugar levels (glucose) in the brain. We can either make it run for longer through endurance, change our diet to fuel it better, and [sleep enough](sleep.md) to keep it running optimally. ## Unconscious Our framework of information can often be shoddy and [untrustworthy](understanding-certainty.md), but we still must make decisions with it. Since unconscious decisions are essentially [habits](habits.md) by another name, and the word "decisions" usually only refers to the diverging options we consciously select. APPLICATION: Generally, experiences and decisions we make beforehand craft our minds to dispose toward a decision *long* before we actually face any given decision. However, we imagine our decision is completely on-the-fly and unaffected by our environment. This doesn't mean we don't have agency, but we *are* being [influenced](power-influence.md) in ways we're not actively [aware](awareness.md) of. There is a spectrum between conscious decisions and habits. Across repetition, decisions become habits through a specific flow: 1. Experience [perceived facts](reality.md). 2. Condense the information into reasonable [stories](stories.md) that answer ["how", "why", and "what"](understanding.md). 3. The end of the story creates a [feeling](mind-feelings.md) that defines the [purpose](purpose.md) we ascribe to the experience. We feel comfortable handing off most decisions to the subconscious, except for when that decision either may create [painful](mind-feelings-fear.md) [results](results.md) or makes us feel something [unfamiliar](understanding-certainty.md). We can profoundly understand the basis of our [personalities](personality.md) by what decisions we obsess over and how much. APPLICATION: Small decisions *against* what's we're accustomed to will defy our habitual cycle and force us to be aware of an experience. If we foster that awareness, we'll take control of the situation. Otherwise, we'll become more set in our ways. ## Calculus part 1: values Every decision is a type of "[values](values.md) calculus" that weighs benefits and risks to any given set of options. It's not strictly [mathematical](math.md) (because it involves non-measrable components associated with [feelings](mind-feelings.md)), but every decision incorporates *many* possible factors based on pre-existing [bias](mind-bias.md) from [cultural experience](people-culture.md) and [belief](understanding-certainty.md). A. general factors: - The [impression](image.md) we get and our reactions to it. - [Short-term](logic.md) versus [long-term](imagination.md) effects of almost everything. - Every one of the possibilities we can [imagine](imagination.md), including "[third options](mind-creativity.md)" that often require more [risk](safety.md). - The shortage of a specific resource (i.e., "[scarcity](economics.md)"). B. [comfort](mind-feelings.md) factors: - How much pain or pleasure we'll experience. More specifically, how intense, [likely](imagination.md), and how far in the future. We tend to feel more pain from losing things than from never having had those things. - Who and what we [trust](trust.md), and how much. - How much that pain or pleasure will create *other* pain or pleasure. - How much [effort](results.md) we'd have to do to complete something. - What we're already [familiar](habits.md) with and accustomed to. - Who and what we [fear](mind-feelings-fear.md), along with our requirements to [feel](mind-feelings.md) [safe](safety.md). - Things we [don't know](unknown.md) or imagine potentially not knowing, including things we [imagine](imagination.md) we *can't* know. - Spontaneous impulse to find [certainty](understanding-certainty.md) in the midst of too much [uncertainty](unknown.md) (which can be from too many choices). APPLICATION: Whining and complaining are the paths of least resistance, but they also produce very few [results](results.md). [Astute observers](success-1_why.md) try to only do things that *do* make results and, thus, are the long-term path of least resistance. C. [purpose](purpose.md) factors: - Who and what we [love](people-love.md). - How much we [trust](trust.md) that various decisions could go according to our [expectations](imagination.md). - To the degree we care about the [future](imagination.md), how much [time or energy](power-types.md) we can save in the long term. - [Moral](morality.md) standards and [expected](imagination.md) moral consequences. - How things may hurt or help others we [identify](identity.md) with, such as those in one of our [groups](groups-member.md). APPLICATION: We often decide things to conform to our [identity](identity.md), so [awareness](awareness.md) of our decisions is necessary to be aware of our identity, which needs constant tweaking to attain [the good life](goodlife.md). D. [power](power.md) factors: - How much power, of [all types](power-types.md), we could gain, lose, or trade out. - How what other people are doing could affect us. - Assuming no [addiction](addiction.md), diminishing returns. - How what we [do](results.md) could [influence](power-influence.md) others. - The [understanding](understanding.md) we could gain, to the degree of our [curiosity](purpose.md). - [Technology](technology.md) we can use to [optimize](success-4_routine.md) our [routines](habits.md) or magnify our [work](results.md). - [Mathematical](math.md) increase in a particular number. E. factors from other people: - *Every* aspect of the above, but for other people. - How much we [love](people-love.md) others versus ourselves, and how much any of the above affect others. APPLICATION: We can't remove our [bias](mind-bias.md), but we can definitely feed in opposing bias from a different [perspective](image.md). This is why getting others' viewpoints is critical. By the end of the values calculus, we've [emotionally](mind-feelings.md) lumped the risks and benefits together into a few broad [patterns](symbols.md), and we will make reactive judgments toward them based on [goals](purpose.md) we have in our minds at that moment. ## Calculus part 2: priorities If the judgment isn't inherently obvious beyond [uncertainty](understanding-certainty.md), we'll devote energy to finding more information to confirm, or to find [alternative solutions](mind-creativity.md) that harmonize everything we want. *Most* decisions are automatic [habits](habits.md), but a critical 1-5% of them that enter our conscious awareness *will* define our future. Finding new approaches sometimes works, but we can sometimes overlook *other* [unknown](unknown.md) [risks](safety.md) we hadn't thought of if we don't consult [other people](people-conversation.md). At this point, we've simply become aware of various options, though, so there *is* nobody else unless we're [praying to a deity](religion.md). APPLICATION: All [power](power.md) requires maintenance for it, so we must only consider possessing power worth its responsibilities and costs. This comes largely from the [purposes](purpose.md) that the power can legitimately give us. Most of our prioritization is based on comparison. Even when it's a [mathematical](math.md) reality, we adapt the information from how it compared to previous information in our memory and new information in our memory we've recently perceived. We frequently compare ourselves with others, though [it makes very little sense to do so](personality.md), and entire [social groups](groups-member.md) are often *defined* by this comparison aspect. APPLICATION: If you want to think more clearly, [imagine](imagination.md) if someone else was in your exact predicament and wanted your advice. What would you tell them? Except for [principles](understanding-certainty.md), we tend to choose the path of least resistance. However, some principles are *also* the path of least resistance if we've [trained](understanding-certainty.md) our minds to them. When we consider more aspects of [power](power.md), we tend to think more [selfishly](morality-evil.md). Otherwise, if we don't think about them (or use a principle or [love toward others](people-love.md) to disregard them), we become more [altruistic](morality.md). Even with training, we tend to weigh anecdotal evidence that incorporates many [feelings](mind-feelings.md) than others' hard, concrete [scientific](science.md) evidence. The only way to fix the discrepancy is by feeling that science ourselves, but accomplishing that requires tremendous [wisdom](understanding.md) (especially when many other people have reason to [distort the truth](image-distortion.md)). When we're very [inexperienced](maturity.md), we tend to underestimate the resources we need. However, once we've amassed enough [wisdom](understanding.md), we'll often risk *over*estimating resources. The most precise way to [predict](imagination.md) resource use is from remembering and correctly applying [results](results.md) from the past that have a similar context. Even then, [we can never be fully sure](unknown.md). We tend to more frequently avoid bad [risks](safety.md) than pursue more advantageous benefits. However, we invert it and take *tremendous* risks when we [feel](mind-feelings.md) we have nothing left to lose (e.g., surviving, [addiction](addiction.md)). APPLICATION: Our risk-averse tendencies create a type of social order (since only [innovators and early adopters](trends.md) will [risk everything](socialrisk.md)), and it means taking larger risks can yield *dramatically* larger results because nobody else is reaping those benefits. ## Calculus part 3: execution At the end of weighing our decision, it will go one of two ways: 1. Consider, [observe](image.md), or [analyze](logic.md) more. [Creating](creations.md) models to analyze or [measure](math.md) (e.g., spreadsheets or graphs) is the attempt to more deeply [understand](understanding.md) by adding information to a [perspective](image.md). 2. Decide toward [outward action](results.md) or inaction. Our calculations are critical because of opportunity cost. Every decision we *can* take to gain [power](power.md) will cost us [other opportunities](power-types.md) to take it, and even *free* things cost time or energy. We tend to hate giving up options and will often maintain our freedom to decide, *long* after it is [reasonable](logic.md). Even with the above-stated variables, our calculation is typically not very thorough. We tend to attribute the cause for why we do things *after* we experience [results](results.md) from those decisions, but forget that we were acting mostly on [intuition](mind-feelings.md) at the time we decided. We tend to keep investing into what we had already invested in, even when it makes no sense. This is a product of [habitual familiarity](habits.md), as well as the [belief](understanding-certainty.md) that our decision may turn to a positive end sometime in the [unknown future](unknown.md). Generally, as we grow older, we become *much* more deliberate in the decisions that lead to actions. Even fools don't like revisiting things they know [guarantee](understanding-certainty.md) pain with zero benefits to it. ### Stress We tend to make worse decisions when we're stressed, proportional to how much we let [feelings](mind-feelings.md) take over our decision-making. Our IQ drops about 20-40 points if we're [sleep-deprived](sleep.md) or [temporarily emotional](mind-feelings.md). These feelings come from many sources, and aren't always connected directly with our decision: - General [unhappiness](mind-feelings-happiness.md) from the situation or [past trauma](hardship-ptsd.md). - Far too many decisions to choose from, which can often come from modern [technology](technology.md)/[marketing](marketing.md). - Something beyond our control which we can [sense](mind-feelings.md) but don't [know](understanding.md) about. - Decision fatigue, which is stress from chronic [uncertainty](understanding-certainty.md) with many decisions. - New things we're [unfamiliar](habits.md) with, to the degree they [scare](mind-feelings-fear.md) us. - Things we [interpret](image.md) may make us lose [power](power.md). - Actions we [observe](image.md) or [do](results.md) that are [improper](people-rules.md) or [taboo](morality-taboo.md). APPLICATION: Our [feelings](mind-feelings.md), to the degree we aren't [aware](awareness.md) of them, affect *all* our decisions. If they're tuned correctly, it's a tremendous force of aptitude, but [past trauma](hardship-ptsd.md) can distort it, and it's highly subject to [disorientation](image-distortion.md). Stress can frequently "strip away" new habits and force us to regress back to the desires from when we were *much* younger. At that point, people will select chocolate cake over fruit salad, fall back into long-abandoned [addictions](addiction.md), make rude remarks over [propriety](people-rules.md), and make [self-interested](morality-evil.md) choices over selfless ones. More variety of choices means we'll have a harder time deciding from the extra mental effort, and making difficult decisions tends to give us less [satisfaction](habits.md) than making simple decisions. Eventually, too many choices can simply make our minds shut down entirely about the matter, and we'll grab something on an impulse to make the [problem](purpose.md) go away. APPLICATION: Always [communicate](awareness.md) a few broad decisions to others, then scope out from there as you're more [certain](understanding-certainty.md) on the specifics. In other words, every choice has its benefits and downsides, and we become progressively better at deciding, up to a breaking point. At that point, our capacity for decision-making becomes no better than pure randomness, or we will simply decide *not* to decide at that point. APPLICATION: People who don't decide are simply deciding to stall their decision until they have additional information. APPLICATION: Someone has to decide, and the best decider is the one who has the most to lose and gain. Any [expert](jobs-specialization.md) who doesn't respect that reality (or try to [influence](power-influence.md) them away from it by [adapting reality](image-distortion.md)) is taking away someone's [right to choose](people-boundaries.md). The more we think about a decision, the more [important](meaning.md) that decision [feels](mind-feelings.md) to us, and the more stress we feel from deciding. Once we've reached the breaking point, we become *worse* at making clear decisions from a [fear](mind-feelings-fear.md) the decision won't pay out what we invested in it. APPLICATION: If we're stressed about a decision, we should instead [recondition](habits.md) ourselves to become curious instead. We should also learn [gratitude](morality.md) that we can even *decide* in that situation, and constantly work to lower our [expectations](imagination.md). The more choices we have, the more accurate and dissatisfied we'll be with the result. This is fine for things like what [job](jobs-1_why.md) to train for, but *terrible* for when we must decide to do something [fun](fun.md). Most [influential](power-influence.md) people take the most advantage of others' stress, with their effort focused on adding stress to what they don't want them to select and removing stress from what they'd prefer them to select. This can be through [creating results](results.md) to that end, or simply the [appearance](image-distortion.md) of it. APPLICATION: When [conflicted](conflicts-inner.md) between two decisions, pick neither of them and find a more [creative](mind-creativity.md) solution. ## Calculus part 4: certainty Generally, people mull over decisions until they reach a certain degree of [certainty](understanding-certainty.md), which varies by [personality](personality.md) and [maturity](maturity.md). While it's impossible to be error-free, we have a remarkable ability of being relatively low-error in our [understanding](understanding.md) if we're patient and [thorough](science.md), even if we take more time to decide. APPLICATION: Operating off [feelings](mind-feelings.md) is a largely [happier](mind-feelings-happiness.md) (and [riskier](safety.md)) way to live than operating off [scientific reality](science.md) and [strong reasoning](logic.md). The [good life](goodlife.md) is in knowing the time and place for both. Mulling over decisions can't satisfy us, mostly because more [thinking](logic.md) leads to a smaller likelihood of feeling comfort with the answer. At the same time, we're more likely to come to the best possible decisions. APPLICATION: True [experts](jobs-specialization.md) are aware when they [don't know](unknown.md). The best way to find out is to ask an expert in one domain what their opinion is about a related-enough domain. For example, if you [know](understanding.md) about electrical wiring, ask a plumber what their opinion is about electrical wiring: their answer should resonate with what you know to be true, while also showing they don't know as much as you. We need certainty proportionally to the scope of the [consequences](results.md) we [predict](imagination.md) for a decision. Choosing a hamburger or chicken sandwich is merely a matter of [preference](people-decisions.md), but choosing to [change jobs](jobs-1_why.md) or work for a promotion can affect *years* of a lifestyle. APPLICATION: We should pay close attention to whether a decision is important, and whether it can be reversed: - If it's important and irreversible, take your time on it and be *very* careful with it. - If it's not important, treat it as a chance to [experiment and learn](understanding.md). - If it's important and reversible, it's worth experimenting, but with the understanding that [large consequences](results.md) will invariably happen. APPLICATION: Huge, gigantic decisions we agonize over are *not* as big as we [feel](mind-feelings.md) they are. We must constantly remember that everything large-scale isn't *that* large, and a good-enough decision today is usually better than a perfect decision tomorrow. The way we form our certainty has a profound impact on how we [perform](results.md). If we [feel](mind-feelings.md) we're forced to do something (e.g., from [fear](mind-feelings-fear.md)), we're *far* less resourceful or responsive to [reality](reality.md) than when we feel we [purposed](purpose.md) ourselves to a decision. We also don't commit to any decision if we think we can reverse that decision at any given moment. APPLICATION: If you're unhappy with your decisions, stop overthinking them, just pick something, and drop it. On the other hand, if your life isn't playing out as well as you'd like, start examining [why](understanding.md) you make the decisions you do. We may consult [friends](hardship-friends.md) or an [expert](jobs-specialization.md), which allows us several opportunities: 1. We can more clearly [understand](understanding.md) the likely consequences of our decisions through another [perspective](image.md). 2. We don't feel like we're entirely [responsible](meaning.md) for the decision we ultimately make, since their advice guided it. 3. Our relationship with that [friend](hardship-friends.md) or [institution](groups-large.md) is strengthened. 4. In the case of an expert and [their institution](groups-large.md), we can learn whether they are [trustworthy](trust.md) for future decisions. APPLICATION: There's always an alternative you don't know about, but it's critical to bounce the ideas off other people who have a different [perspective](image.md) than you. However, any expert or friend has [limitations](mind-bias.md) and [interests](purpose.md) that may go against our own best interests compared to deciding something ourselves. And, if we trust others too much, we'll start feeling helpless, which devastates our capacity for finding [meaning](meaning.md). If we *are* an [expert](jobs-specialization.md) in something, we have a tendency to overestimate our competence. When something is merely a [theory](imagination.md) we [believe](understanding-certainty.md) in, we'll often assert it as a [fact](reality.md) ([Dunning-Kruger Effect](mind-bias.md)). Further, when it's beyond our scope of experience, we frequently overstep what we know and presume our [patterns](symbols.md) will still apply. The precise moment we've decided, we're finished with our [purpose](purpose.md) of thinking about it. We tend to mostly delegate it to our focus and [habits](habits.md) to execute, and carry on to another [thought](imagination.md) or [experience](reality.md). APPLICATION: Don't overthink things. You can't know some things before the [results](results.md) show themselves. Make the [wisest](understanding.md) possible decision, and move on. In the long term, deciding leans one of two ways: 1. It's a similar pattern to the decisions we'd made before, and solidifies a [habit](habits.md). 2. It's a new form of decision we *hadn't* made before, and it makes us [change](people-changes.md). The cause for *why* we decide on something has a tremendous impact on how we interpret that decision's [results](results.md): - How [personally responsible](meaning.md) we feel we are for deciding, versus doing what someone else told us to do. - The amount we believe our decisions *can* make [reality](reality.md) change. - Whether we're focusing on what we're [afraid](mind-feelings-fear.md) of or what we [love](people-love.md) that first inspired that fear. APPLICATION: For the sake of amending how we understand reality, we have direct control over the conclusions of [stories](stories.md) (And therefore our [beliefs](understanding-certainty.md)) that feed into our [feelings](mind-feelings.md), even if we don't have any direct control of [feelings](mind-feelings.md). The most useful experience from any decision is to learn from it. There's no shortcut to [understanding](understanding.md), and only comes through carefully observing the [results](results.md) of our decisions. This creates a set of ideal behaviors for decisions: 1. Make sure a decision is well-thought-out enough to avoid the worst situations. 2. Pick a choice and stick with it. 3. Unless something is [taboo](morality-taboo.md), ignore what [everyone else](groups-member.md) is doing. 4. When [results](results.md) turn out badly, own that you decided it and avoid [fear](mind-feelings-fear.md). 5. Try to [learn](education.md) absolutely *everything* you can from any adverse [results](results.md) from a decision.